Browsing Category

Baby J

Baby J, birth story

Birth story

I contemplated whether or not I should share this, but knowing how much reading other blogger’s birth stories helped me prepare mentally for labor, I thought it only fair that I share mine in case it helps someone out there in the blogosphere. So, here goes {I’ll apologize now for grossing you out, and yes, it’s a novel}.

Two days after my due date, around 6:30 pm, we were making pizza and I felt something “drop”, down there. Went into the bathroom and on my panty was a little goop of gel {?} — I assumed it was my mucus plug, because right after I started leaking clear fluid — assuming my water “broke”!?

We called our birthing center and they suggested we come in to make sure my water had indeed broken. Still no contractions. We went in, and at 8:30pm they took a sample and determined that yes, my water had broke! My doctor wanted me to keep my appointment the next morning since baby boy had a healthy heart beat and I still wasn’t feeling any contractions.

We went back home, updated our families, and ate a late night snack. I slept all through the night. We woke up the next day and had breakfast and finished getting ready, just in case we were to go back right away.

At my 9:00am appt, my midwife said that the plan was to admit me {since it had essentially been 12 hours since my water had broken} and insert a cervidil to motivate labor. We swung by our place to walk the dogs and grab our bags.

{waiting room!}

10:04am {to be exact!}, we were admitted to the birthing center. We went through the admission process again. Blood taken, IV in. We had to wait a few hours before my Dr. showed up, so we ate lunch, updated family & friends, and started to get mentally prepared.

1:30pm – Dr. checks my cervix and I’m 2cm, still no contractions. Cervidil is inserted. Horrible experience; I cried. You could say I wasn’t expecting two ladies on my bed, jamming something up me.  I lie on my side to let the cervidil kick in. We put on a movie to calm me down {Austenland}.

3:00 – 4:30pm – contractions begin to gradually kick-in. They feel like mild period cramps. We keep hanging out. I go to the bathroom a couple times — things were definitely clearing out, if you know what I mean, including the cervadil.

5:00pm – the nurse puts in another cervidil. It wasn’t so bad the 2nd time {I knew what to expect!}. We turn on The Office on the iPad to kill time and keep my mind occupied.  I use the heating pack to help with the cramps/contractions. I snack on trail mix and fruit snacks from our hospital bag.

6:00pm – more contractions and cramping come and go {you know, the bad period cramps}. I try the yoga ball {birthing ball?}. I eat an Otterpop. Some back pain kicks in around my tail bone. Rob starts to press on my lower back and talks to me while the contractions come/go.

7:00pm – I need to try something else to get through the contractions. I start walking, pacing our room. I put in my headphones to listen to my playlist I made. Rob is starving so he goes down for a burger. The sweetheart has to scarf it down while I go through waves of nausea as all of sudden I begin to have some strong contractions. Rob continues to rub my lower back through contractions.  He coaches me, reminds me to breathe {instead of hold my breath like I did a lot of the time}, encourages me, thanks me. So you know, I don’t like to make a lot of noise when I’m in pain, nor when I puke. And at this point, I was doing everything in my power to not puke or be dramatic about the pain. It’s not my thing.

8:15pm – dying to try the jacuzzi next! Starting to daydream about an epidural. I go into the hot tub and work through contractions, while Rob rubs my lower back vigorously. His rubbing throughout saved me, seriously. LOVED the hot tub, the water was hot and the bubbles wonderful, but the contractions became MUCH stronger and harder to breathe through. My breathing gets deep and I hum loudly to push through. Nausea is still there, in waves. I don’t want to puke! Fighting hard not to cry. At this point I’m not sure I can do this. I’m doubting a lot right now. Rob reminds me to breathe, to not fight the pain. I try hard to embrace the pain, surrender to it, let it in.

9:30pm – we go back into the room and I request to talk to my Doctor about an epidural. Rob reminds me that I wanted to go at this naturally, asks me if I’m sure. I tell him I’m sure. Back on the exercise ball. Dr. checks me and I’m 5cm {and the contractions are this painful?! Um, no}. Baby is in position and she says that we’re very close and an epidural might not be needed. I disagree, ha. I want it. Rob rubs my lower back and acts as my body pillow/punching bag as I fight through some intense cramps, sharp pains while they get things going for the epidural. I internalize as much of the pain as I can. I have to close my eyes to focus on breathing through the contractions. I keep with the deep moaning/humming.

10:30pm – anesthetologist arrives {YAY!!!!}. Rob recognizes him from his gym {small world)}. I get into position on the bed, he’s talking up a storm with Rob, I’m focusing hard to breathe through the pain while the anestheloogist does his thing. The nurse and Rob hold my hands. My eyes remain closed as I focus on sitting still and embracing the pain/contractions while the epidural is inserted. This was extremely challenging! I felt one small pinch for the numbing, and nothing else thereafter. After I lie on my right side so we can continue to monitor and hear little boy’s heart beat clearly. I have a few more contractions that I can still feel. Then within 10 minutes I’m good. GOOOOOD.

11:00pm – I start talking to our wonderful nurse, asked her a few million questions. Got to visit with Rob. We said sweet things to each other. I might have even smiled. My hands shake a little at first. Nurse decides to check me and I’m 10cm {what?!}. How did that happen?! We were in shock that I had transitioned that quickly. I can’t feel anything below the waist at this point. We have to wait until our Doctor can come back, so we’re told to relax. Rob and I smile at each other, because now we’re closer than ever to meeting our son! It’s going to happen! I probably didn’t need to get the epidural, but I’m so happy I did, just for some “release” from the pain. All that’s left to do is push! We’re pretty giddy at this point.

12am – Doctor arrives! They turn off the epidural so I can start to feel the urge to push {since I had absolutely no urge to push}. All the nurses get everything set-up, it’s getting exciting!  . . . it’s go-time! I start pushing in a sitting up position. Rob takes his place next to the Doctor and holds my left knee {seeing that my legs were completely lifeless, he had to hold one of my legs}. I still can’t feel anything down below so pushing is a little weird at first. I watch the monitor to know when a contraction is hitting {since I can’t feel those either} and use my upper abdominal muscles to push down … this goes on for a little bit.

12:30am – I start to feel the contractions again {not too major}, and the back pain comes back a little. I slowly start to feel my legs, and can move them slightly. I continue to push as contractions hit. We have the monitor to hear baby boy’s heart beat and it’s so cool. Rob continues to be my coach, every step of the way, encouraging me, giving me status updates, motivating me.

12:30am – 1:21am – The contractions are back in full swing, and so is the back pain. Rob is back to rubbing my back while still holding my left leg.  I move to a side position, which was best for baby and to move things along — was definitely more painful on my side, but I didn’t care. When I push into the contraction, I hold my own knees. When I pushed into the contraction, the pain lessened, which I liked. I didn’t want to stop pushing at this point! But Dr. wants me to rest between contractions, so I do. Dr. continues to massage me down there {what she massaged I don’t know}. Rob helps the team by pouring a little bit of the sesame oil I brought on the area {should NOT have bought toasted sesame oil – horrible decision on my part lol!} He continues to crown on and off. Rob sees it all! We’re making great progress — I feel like we’re close. I push my heart out — with all my might. I’m a sweaty woman at this point, hahaha — and grunt and push. I want to meet this little man!!! The contractions are more of a piercing pain at this point, pushing definitely helps. Nurse puts a cold cloth on my forehead and helps me drink water {so sweet!!!}. With 3 last big pushes, I get his head out, and one final push for his shoulders. I feel this movement, but no “ring of fire” as they call it {thank God the epidural was still wearing off in some way I assume}. As soon as he’s out they give him straight to me, basically plop him on my chest. He’s HUGE!! I think I even said “holy shit”! How was I carrying this big boy?! He is crying and his eyes are wide open. And he smells like toasted sesame oil!! hahahaha Rob helps to cut the umbilical cord — the nurse cleans me up while I hold our son. Rob starts kissing me and whispering sweet things to me — — I’m so speechless at this point and exhausted. It was hard for me to process a lot, other than the fact that I was holding the little boy I had been carrying for 9 months. It was so beautiful.

Rob and I enjoy a golden hour with little boy, and me some skin to skin, and baby boy starts to breastfeed {with the help of our nurses – yay}. Having an out of body experience at this point. I finally can embrace with Rob and we cry and stare at our son. They end up moving baby boy to the table to clean up, weigh and do all the things they gotta do. He’s so healthy and we’re so thankful to God for that.  Not sure when baby boy stopped crying, but he did. Baby boy was comfy in one of our arms at all times. I thank God that I was able to have a vaginal delivery, and with no pitocin!

Hardest day of my life so far, but totally doable and so worth it! Looking back, the pain was actually motivating — because our son was at the finish line. If pain is what I had to experience to see his little face and body, I’d do it all over again. I just might wait a couple years before the next one ;) For now, I don’t want him to grow up, EVER.

Hopefully this wasn’t too gory for you, ha. I wanted to make sure I captured every detail! ;)

Baby J

Woodland Creatures – baby boy’s nursery {part III}

The rest of my Etsy finds finally came in and I was able to finish the nursery.  I’ve been wanting to keep the nursery fairly simple {in case you can’t already tell}, and thought these prints from French Press Mornings were beyond perfect. Loved that I could customize what colors and woodland creatures I wanted. And that arrow border — too cute!  Nothing left to do now but have a baby . . {!!}

{Owl clips on a wire frame — Target find!}

 

 

 

 

I would say my sister completed the room for me when she bought me my “Young & Brave” print from Billy & Scarlet. I had the perfect frame waiting for it :-) Thank you Pamsy!

And another random thought for you. I’ve been using Mrs. Meyer’s Baby Blossom detergent for baby boy’s clothes and blankets, and it smells AMAZING. One of the best smells in the world I’ve decided. I’m going to have to get the entire Baby Blossom product line now for sure.

 

Have a great Wednesday ya’ll!
Baby J, beach house, Pregnancy

Woodland Creatures – baby boy’s nursery {part II}

Over the last few weeks we’ve been getting more of the nursery put together. I’m currently reading 12 Hours of Sleep Before 12 Weeks Old and I’m so excited to start sleep training! Must be the planner in me, but I want my baby to be happy and sleep soundly in this little nursery we’ve made {and I want us to have a sleep schedule, too!}. Here’s the latest progress:

{Rob and his stache sippy ;)}

 

{Restoration Hardware, i love you}

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baby J, Pregnancy

To be honest

With all this time off, I’ve been propelled to really reflect on this pregnancy and yes, my feelings. Sometimes I don’t feel like your regular pregnant chick. So many women LOVE being pregnant. LOVE watching their belly grow. Some even say they already have a special bond with their little one. They talk or sing to their baby-to-be. They schedule maternity photos and put it out there for the whole world to see.

But to me, I don’t feel that way at all. My big belly, the veins, the poking – it’s incredibly bizarre to me. Pregnancy has felt nothing short of alien to me. Perhaps it’s because I don’t feel like what’s happening is really real. Until I see him, I won’t believe it! Things are growing stronger and closer, but it only feels semi real because I can’t deny how big my belly is, and because we’ve done almost everything you could possibly do to prepare. Now all we need is a baby!

When the time comes to look back at this, maybe I will be able to say that I “loved” being pregnant. Maybe I”ll feel different with my second. But since I’m reflecting right now, I must say that it’s felt rather one-sided. One of my favorite things about being married is that I feel like we’re in it together. That we share the load of life together. We support each other, and are equal. That we experience everything together. But, being pregnant, has secluded me from feeling like that. Pregnancy is something my body has to experience, not his. My body is changing, his isn’t. I’m responsible for watching my diet and what I can or cannot eat. I’m responsible for nourishing this little soul growing inside me. I’m in pain; he isn’t. I have to sacrifice my body, he doesn’t. I have to give birth and labor {more pain}, he doesn’t. I have to deal with the monster ‘roids, he doesn’t. I have to breastfeed, he doesn’t.  I have to heal and recover, he doesn’t. He doesn’t have to stress about getting his body back after this. I do. Maybe a part of me is screaming “this isn’t fair!!” I know most pregnant women wouldn’t say this, but I’m saying it. It’s pretty one-sided. And to be honest, I wasn’t expecting to feel like this. We always talked about getting pregnant and having a little person who looked like us to have fun with, but I was not expecting to feel like this in the least.

Don’t get me wrong though, my husband has been absolutely amazing. I know he would trade places with me in a heart beat if he could. He’s been my ultimate supporter over the last 9 months – eating what I eat, going to every single Dr. appointment and child birthing class {including a breastfeeding workshop}, running up to the store whenever needed, buying me Preparation-H and ingredients for root beer floats, massaging, drawing me baths, watching chick flicks, assembling furniture, making me protein-filled breakfasts, shopping with me, telling me sweet things, surprising me with smoothies, cuddling and napping with me, the list could go on. I know how excited he is to be a dad and it melts my heart. He’s been my total savior and I know as soon as little boy comes he’s going to be even more amazing. I must admit that I couldn’t have done this without him, and I’m sorry for any woman who has to go through pregnancy and delivery without a life teammate. So, thank you, Rob. You are the love of my life.

In moments of question like this, I must remember to pray and remember that God chose women for this job for a reason. For our strength, courage, anatomy and loving nature {?}. I know our bodies were meant for this, but a part of me wishes the man did a little bit more, physically. God, give me strength. Help me accept my part in the cycle of life.

Bottom line. I’m ready to experience this already {can you tell? Ha}. To feel what it takes to deliver life. To see this little thing inside me and know that it’s real. To experience seeing him for the first time. To hold him, and touch him.  I’m ready for things to feel equal again and for us to share in parenthood together:)

Baby J, Cheryl, Lately, Pregnancy

Killing time

I’m officially on maternity leave. Between doctor’s appointments and emails for work, I’ve been finding things to keep my mind and hands occupied. I don’t do well at home with nothing to do. I’m supposed to be “nesting” . . . but all I want to do is do something, ha. I’ve done all the laundry I can do. Nursery is about ready, bags are packed for the hospital, kitchen is clean, movies are lined up on Netflix. Should probably be napping more. God knows my body wants to. So, here’s how I’ve been killing the time:

{addressed my Valentine’s Day cards early, while finishing a box of Lula’s salted caramel chocolates}

 

 {lots of time with the pups}

 

{trying some new recipes — this shepherd’s pie was AMAZING}

 

 {catching up on all the latest podcasts}

 

{some reading and Facebooking for work}

 

{more thank you notes to friends!}

{daily walks to the beach}

{ordered a TON of new magazines}

{catching up on Revenge}

{more belly pics  … gotta keep documenting}

{some fresh narcissus for my bedside and more reading}