Baby J

Things are getting a little uncomfortable around here. I’m feeling super pregnant. I miss the days, when I was only tired. Because now it’s a challenge to even get out of bed, move from one side to the next in bed, go up stairs, or even just walk. There is some serious pain/pressure down there. Some of the tiredness is back but now I don’t feel as mobile, or flexible. Never thought I’d be waddling, but I am. No more kickboxing for me at this point.  My body does not look or feel the same; I actually feel rather helpless with what’s happening to me. Somehow my skin has stretched enough to hold this little guy {which is still mind-boggling to me}. Those early months where I felt nothing now seems like years ago — because this baby is moving around. All the time. Especially when I lie down for bed at night, he decides to come alive. Which tickles the crap out of me! Looking back, though, I’ve been blessed with a very good pregnancy. It’s just now that my emotions are coming out with every ache and pain. Little glimpses of what birth will be like I’m sure. I just want to see our little boy. I hate surprises, and I feel like this whole pregnancy has been a total tease. Ultrasounds don’t show anything. The 3Ds are freakish. So, I have to wait to see him. I’m getting impatient. Well, until then, I’ll settle for his little bops and hiccups. On the bright side, here’s what’s been keeping me going this last trimester:

well, this baby thing is starting to finally feel real. We’ve toured the hospitals, selected a facility, finished our child birthing classes, found a day care, will be attending a breastfeeding workshop, scheduled our car seat inspection, selected a pediatrician, and wrote our birth plan. Our nursery is full of goodies. I have all the books and swaddle blankets and white noise makers a mommy-to-be could ask for. Some days I feel myself, some days I don’t. Probably because I know I’m going to be a little different in 2014. I’m going to give birth, and breastfeed {what?!}, and take time off from work {me, not work?! And not be traveling with time off?!!}.  I’m going to have a baby. I’m going to be a mother. My mom even said it when I kissed her goodbye after my shower: “When I see you next you’re going to be a mother”, with tears in her eyes, then tears in my eyes. In that moment I panicked a little bit and realized how different things are going to be. Priorities are going to change. I’m going to change. It’s scary, and overwhelming, and exciting, all at the same time. I’m 4 weeks away from meeting my next adventure. I wonder what he’ll look like, this little thing growing inside me {and pushing down on my pelvis}. Will he be healthy? Will he have dimples? Will he be less than 9 lbs {I hope!!}? So, what are my goals for 2014? . .  to not lose myself and embrace motherhood with the same level of happiness and energy that I carry with me in everything I do. Boom. 2 simple, yet important goals I’m putting in front of myself for 2014.