The decision to move back to Arizona was a hard one. We both had good jobs in California. Good friends. Good landlords. Good weather. But family won us over in the end. So, we started making all of the arrangements to move, and soon the weekend came for Rob to go back to start his new job, and it was our last weekend in California together. So, for Valentine’s Day we went for a drive along the coast. We opened the moon roof, we put the Summer Mix CD in .. we took in the ocean air and California smells one last time together, and said goodbye. The ocean road took us to Big Sur for most of the day. We stopped at McWay Falls for an easy hike along the ocean. After, we stopped at Nepenthe to watch the sun set over the water. God must have known we were saying goodbye because he gave us the bluest sky that day. The air was warm, with a small chill around evening. Big Sur was busy with adventure seekers for the long holiday weekend, every hotel along the 1 was occupied. So many people outdoors, enjoying all the beauty California has to offer. The landscape so alive and green, on the verge of Spring. In case you can’t already tell, I’m going to desperately miss California and how gorgeous and grand it is. How green and fresh it is. The air, the jasmine, the grass, the fields of wildflowers, the trees that crawl the ocean cliff and the coastal oaks in Aptos, the sound of the waves. I’m going to miss the slow life and the sunsets. But most of all, I think I’m going to miss the life that we had begun to build. Right now it’s time to be close to family, but this life of mine isn’t over. So, California. I’ll be back. I promise you. And trust me, when I set my mind to something, it happens. Thank you God, and California for a wonderful 3 years of adventures to Tahoe, Sonoma, Napa, San Francisco, Half Moon Bay and more.
Happy New Year, friends! Well, I’ve decided to unplug for the month of January and possibly February. I find myself a little too tied to social media these days that I feel like it’s a little unhealthy. Always comparing, always putting all this pressure on myself. Checking my phone constantly, like it’s a nervous tick. Ignoring my husband, ignoring books and other things I could be doing with my down time. Maybe I’ll finish a project around the house, or Gone Girl, or my new logo. But, for now, I’m deleting my apps from my phone. I’m going to take a break from blogging to regain my thoughts and aspirations. Who knows what other epiphanies I’ll have when I’m not wasting time on social media. So, until next time . . . have an awesome January and I’ll see you around soon!
So, I picked up Jace tonight from day care, and he started crying, his lower lip out, reaching back for Isabel, my day care friend. He didn’t want anything to do with me. It took all of me to not cry in front of Isabel. Then, when I got home, Rob picked him up for a big hug, then I took him back in my arms and he started crying and reaching for Rob. Again, didn’t want anything to do with me. So, I’m pretty much a mess tonight. Decided to not go to the gym. Feeling pretty not important to my son. Feeling like he spends more time at daycare than he does with me. This sucks. Then everything started weighing on me. The dogs, the washer and dryer we need, the airplane tickets we need to buy, the gifts I want to give, the laundry stacking up, the bills to pay, the dirty dishes, the family I’m missing, the months that have flown by. I spiral pretty fast these days. But, then Jace smiled at me, grabbed my face, let me rock him to sleep, and it was all good again. That is, until I have to drop him at daycare in the morning.
This past Sunday we met up with our fellow mindful child birthing class parents and teacher, Roxanne Cummings, for a little reunion and to introduce the babies! It was such a fun afternoon of sharing stories and challenges and reflecting on our birth experiences together, and of course, eating! Santa Cruz has such an amazing birthing community — sometimes I feel like we moved here just to have a baby. It was just the kind of support we needed. These families are so awesome; each of their stories were so special. And Roxanne Cummings is one incredible teacher. I recommend her class to anyone having a baby in Santa Cruz.