Life, Motherhood

This sucks

So, I picked up Jace tonight from day care, and he started crying, his lower lip out, reaching back for Isabel, my day care friend. He didn’t want anything to do with me. It took all of me to not cry in front of Isabel. Then, when I got home, Rob picked him up for a big hug, then I took him back in my arms and he started crying and reaching for Rob. Again, didn’t want anything to do with me. So, I’m pretty much a mess tonight. Decided to not go to the gym. Feeling pretty not important to my son. Feeling like he spends more time at daycare than he does with me. This sucks. Then everything started weighing on me. The dogs, the washer and dryer we need, the airplane tickets we need to buy, the gifts I want to give, the laundry stacking up, the bills to pay, the dirty dishes, the family I’m missing, the months that have flown by. I spiral pretty fast these days. But, then Jace smiled at me, grabbed my face, let me rock him to sleep, and it was all good again. That is, until I have to drop him at daycare in the morning.

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7 Comments

  • Reply Heather November 12, 2014 at 4:09 pm

    I can’t imagine how hard this is for you – I really wish I could say or do something to help! Jace is a lucky boy to be surrounded by so many good people and loved so fiercely. I may not have children and cannot fully grasp the situation, but I do know what it’s like to always be away from family, and be away from either my mother or father throughout my entire life. It’s not all bad – even if it’s difficult at times, I think in the end it makes you a stronger, smarter, more well-rounded and confident person. I know there’s not much I can say to make you feel better when your heart is hurting like this, but just know I love you bestie!!

  • Reply Nichole Viles November 12, 2014 at 4:12 pm

    Cheryl hang in there. I know EXACTLY how you feel. Those are the worst days! Jace loves you sooooo much. I remember some days when I would pick Larry up from daycare and he wouldn’t want to leave because he was having so much fun; it’s a good sign that he’s in good hands and likes the people he is around while you & Rob are at work. Even though Larry is 4 1/2 now, I still have the days where I spiral pretty easy….it’s part of being a mom. Cheryl you are a WONDERFUL & AMAZING mom to Jace! I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. Love you!

  • Reply Anonymous November 12, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    Hang in there Cher Bear. Keep working out! Relieves stress! I miss you and hope your week gets better. Love you.

    Love,
    Tayler Brianne J.

  • Reply Anonymous November 12, 2014 at 10:47 pm

    I have to say that while my heart soooo goes out to you over what you described, I LOVE how honest you are. I get tired of reading blogs where the only face the blogger shows is the “always together mom/woman”. I too, know that feeling of leaving your baby. You want them to be okay with it and thrive, but on the wrong day, just one thing can make you doubt EVERYTHING. “Am I gone too much? Is this normal?” and on and on and on. My point is, your honesty helps others connect to what you’re feeling, and reminds us that we are all human, feeling similar things, but also trying our best. I can TELL you are a WONDERFUL, LOVING mother. You inspire me on a regular basis! Keep it up. Jace LOVES you and always will!
    -Jessica Kerr

  • Reply Sis November 18, 2014 at 2:03 am

    Aww sis!! I wish I could give you a BIG hug right now! Jace adores you so much!! It’s nice he’s having fun at daycare but still difficult no matter what. You have a lot on you’re plate right now so things will turn around for the better. You’re a wonderful mother cher bear! :) Love and miss you all very much! xoxo

  • Reply Diane November 22, 2014 at 5:00 am

    What a pooper that Jace! But yes, at least you know he’s in great hands while you are away. I’ve experienced a bad sitter, now THAT definitely wants you to become a stay-at-home mom!

    I am a TOTAL dork but I just did the math, — when you’re working full-time (40 hrs a week), counting only your kids’ “awake” hours (12 hours a day for my kids), and counting the weekends, you only spend 47% of your time with you kids! Ha! The other 53% is at daycare. BUT good news is, with your new FRIDAYS off, the percentage swings in your favor and you spend 58% of Jace’s awake time with him!!! Way to go Mom! LOL lucky Jace.

  • Reply Cheryl December 1, 2014 at 5:58 am

    Thanks for all the support ladies. I really needed your positive words and affirmations. I love you all.

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